And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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