shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
