Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
