We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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