I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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