I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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