i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
