i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need to calm my uterus...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
