she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
smell my finger.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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