before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
thus making me awesome and them whores
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
