do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is it because I queefed?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
