Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We got so high we made milksteak
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you bring me the toilet please
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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