and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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