oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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