I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
