im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I understand Curling. That high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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