Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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