maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
