she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
