Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
