Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry about my life...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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