Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
