So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
