come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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