Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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