How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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