honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
