don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
