Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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