I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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