You're so nebulous sometimes
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
