You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
