I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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