I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
