You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
