dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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