Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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