I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
