I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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