What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
