u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
