a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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