I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
