mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
