Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
