Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
