I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
