Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
