# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
