Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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