It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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