I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize