No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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