wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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