It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
