So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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